Heavy and Light

Laryssa Waldron

4/17/15

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I wake

the household comes to order

backpacks

lunches

drop-off kisses

I work

like a machine, the chaos is displaced

dishes

laundry

endless errands

I write

she whines ‘till she’s on my lap

scribbling

grabbing

slamming the keyboard

she sleeps

I drown in others’ creations

YouTube

Pinterest

Facebook catch-up

I dream

my own works bring life to others

books

blogs

artistic ideas

she wakes

it’s back to Mommyland

diapers

food

stories and songs

they return

I star in a million desires

counselor

chef

homework police

he’s home

we barely have time to greet each other

interruptions

needs

family time together

to bed

far too late, everything’s quiet

can I begin my creations? can I break the mold? I survey the day’s damage – the chaos has returned and tomorrow’s needs press on my shoulders. The weight of demands, tasks, unfulfilled promises, dreams, and the ticking clock cause writer’s block.

I’m defeated

back in the pattern, I slip into bed

tired

overwhelmed

for tomorrow  –

I wake

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Anyone else ever feel like this? Today I used my precious “me time” (when baby was down for a nap and the house was quiet) as a consumer rather than a creator – I spent most of the time watching YouTube videos – ugh! Don’t get me wrong, they were great videos, but I could have used the time doing one of the things that is on my endless list, rather than dreaming. Thoughts?