Heavy and Light
Laryssa Waldron
4/17/15
I wake
the household comes to order
backpacks
lunches
drop-off kisses
I work
like a machine, the chaos is displaced
dishes
laundry
endless errands
I write
she whines ‘till she’s on my lap
scribbling
grabbing
slamming the keyboard
she sleeps
I drown in others’ creations
YouTube
Facebook catch-up
I dream
my own works bring life to others
books
blogs
artistic ideas
she wakes
it’s back to Mommyland
diapers
food
stories and songs
they return
I star in a million desires
counselor
chef
homework police
he’s home
we barely have time to greet each other
interruptions
needs
family time together
to bed
far too late, everything’s quiet
can I begin my creations? can I break the mold? I survey the day’s damage – the chaos has returned and tomorrow’s needs press on my shoulders. The weight of demands, tasks, unfulfilled promises, dreams, and the ticking clock cause writer’s block.
I’m defeated
back in the pattern, I slip into bed
tired
overwhelmed
for tomorrow –
I wake
Anyone else ever feel like this? Today I used my precious “me time” (when baby was down for a nap and the house was quiet) as a consumer rather than a creator – I spent most of the time watching YouTube videos – ugh! Don’t get me wrong, they were great videos, but I could have used the time doing one of the things that is on my endless list, rather than dreaming. Thoughts?
3 responses to “Heavy and Light”
I’m not even married or a mum but i feel this way. Sorry. Be strong
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Oh, Tokoni, why is life so difficult and monotonous? Then we have beautiful moments mingled with the daily grind.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I’m going to come over and check your site. 🙂
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Thanks!
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