I’m back teaching at the University. It is where my heart is, and I am so thrilled to return, I can’t stop smiling – so much, I think I’m scaring people 😁. My employment story is a long and winding road (yes, I wanted you to have a Beetles soundtrack in your head as you read), so I will just start with this – in 2017, I was hired as a visiting religion Professor at BYU-Idaho on a three year contract. And I loved every minute of it – the energy and excitement of the students, the camaraderie of fellow educators, and the study and learning in a subject that I feel so much passion for.

I had spent the previous 12 years teaching English Technical Writing and Writing and Rhetoric at SLCC and UVU as an adjunct professor. Teaching tech writing was exhilarating but when I taught Writing and Rhetoric, it repeatedly ripped my heart out because our curriculum had students writing about social justice, and there was so little hope in what we were doing. Here is an excerpt from a chapter that I wrote about it –

In the Fall of 2016, I took on three courses of the new English program at SLCC, which (because of the new guidelines) demanded more of my time and paid little in terms of my soul. Imagine teaching a course in which you require the students to write about the problems of the world and yet, you don’t have the ability to teach about the one solution, the one Being that
could give the aching heart peace and all the justice and mercy that is needed in [that] dark and painful world! Without the Savior, there can never be justice for the billions of lives of pain that went before. Our society can never right those wrongs. There is no other ideology, teaching, or religion that promises complete restoration, peace, mercy, and equity. “And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away” (Revelation 21:4).

Teaching in that circumstance felt like trying to paint without my hands. One night I read and discussed four papers – three on horrific child-abuse and one on the life of a serial killer and how he came to that heinous crime. How can there be any justice for those children whose lives had been shattered, for those who had been tortured and murdered, without a Savior? There is no promise without Him. No way that our society can give back what was taken from those souls with any social advocacy. My heart was breaking and my soul was heavy because I was not allowed to feed the students.

Condie, Ganel-Lyn, and Chad Hymas. I Can Choose Joy with God: Stories of Hope from Faithful Women. Covenant Communications, Inc., 2019. Chapter 3, Joy In Unanswered Prayers, by Laryssa Waldron

Teaching is my joy and vocation, but teaching religion is my absolute passion. So, after the three years at BYU-I as a professor of religion, I was rehired as a seminary teacher (religious education for high school kids). I started that in June of 2020 – right in the middle of the COVID-19 pandemic.

It was lovely to be back with teenagers. I love their relative innocence – though they struggle with teen issues in a crazy world, most of them had not started to face their adult trials and difficulties yet. I taught at the HS for a year, and then was transferred to a junior high where I taught 9th graders and served as the Seminary Principal for two more years. I’ve found delight in Administration – creating and running a program and helping facilitate teachers in their roles has been thrilling. I taught at FSY over the past two summers (Lincoln, NE; Colorado Springs, CO; and Tempe, AZ). And was able to teach two of my own daughters and get to know their friends – which has been a treasured blessing.

But now, I’ve been brought back to BYU-I in the religion faculty, this time as a permanent hire and I couldn’t be happier. As I said, there is a permanent glued-on smile! In addition to teaching my Fall scheduled classes of REL 250: Jesus Christ and the Everlasting Gospel and REL 301: the first half of the Old Testament, I’m enjoying studying about AI (Chat GPT), various religious topics and mentoring students.

My only problem now is, how to move forward as myself? I want to emulate my coworkers, but I am so unlike many of them. I spent some time today on the BYU Religion Faculty page looking at my colleagues and their credentials. And though “comparison is the thief of joy” I indulged in the inferiority of myself. Also, that the little voice in my head reminded me of unkind things that people had said about me in the past. ARRGHHH!! I’m pushing 50 – when does the insecurity end? 🙄

So, I think I need to go back and instead of looking at my “Bucket List”, I should look at my “What I Have Been Able to Do That I Used to Dream Of?” list (Or maybe it’s my “Bucket List of Yesteryear”). Certainly teaching in general is on it as well as teaching at the University, etc. Or maybe I should look at my “Things I Didn’t Know I Wanted To Have On My Bucket List But Have Been Able To Do” list. You know, those extraordinary blessings that have fulfilled and enriched life even when life took a turn for the unplanned or unexpected. Like getting to teach my children and their friends. Coming to know the Community that I live in. Finding a love for administrative work, etc.

Well, those are my musings, and I invite you to share yours – here or in your own journal or blog. Share your “Bucket List” – hopes and dreams for the future before you “kick the bucket” or your “Bucket List of Yesteryear”, etc. so that we can relish in the fact that we have been able to do some extraordinary things in this wonderful and difficult life! Or just share your triumphs. I applaud you – for going to college, or going back to college late in life. For keeping a home and growing babies with your body! Or loving babies that are not your own. For holding down a thankless job for years to provide for your family. Or for being a caretaker for those who can’t care for themselves. For making art or writing a book or blog after the kids are in bed because you need to create to fill your soul. For hiking, or biking, or staying in shape or for starting that diet again. For continuing to move forward in disappointment, grief, struggle, or pain – think of where you’ve been and take courage. There is hope in your future as you “keep moving forward” and if you move forward with the God of the Universe, there is hope in your forever as well!